Kindness is Free
- Lyllia Collier
- Jan 7, 2021
- 2 min read
Okay, so clearly we need to talk. First of all, to everybody who has joined this family in the past few days -for various reasons- welcome! Second, please remember that I am still human. Flooding my inbox and my 'ask me something' section with hate and negativity because you haven't been added to the story is NOT the right move. I was adding as many people as I could (1000+) until the negativity came rolling in. Just because I am open and honest about the harder topics doesn't mean my feelings got lost somewhere along the way. Every day I struggle with severe anxiety and depression, among other things but I push through. I have thoughts of self-doubt that cripple me and cloud my mind for weeks: *Why am I not enough? *What did I do wrong? *Does everybody hate me? Although I know these thoughts are just being intrusive little bastards, it doesn't change the fact that they still exist. They crowd my mind and all the good thoughts that could be, and you all getting angry at me when I'm just trying my best doesn't help. This is all new to me. 48 hours ago I had 2.5 thousand followers and I was ecstatic about it, and now as I write this post there are over 100k beautiful people following me. Don't get me wrong I am happy beyond measures that words can express, but this grew a lot faster than I ever expected. It's been overwhelming. I'll be honest, I almost had a panic attack at work because my phone wouldn't stop buzzing and I couldn't just 'turn it off' because I had business calls scheduled that I needed to be able to answer. I know first world problems but all I'm trying to say is yes I now have a platform, but I'm still just a person. I don't want nor need your pity, all I'm asking is that you be patient with me and aware of how your words and actions impact other people. I love the 'ask me something' section. Some of you have the funniest questions and the way you phrase things is adorable, and some of you are trusting me with your intimate stories of assault and trauma. I am so grateful to be a safe space for all of the above. I will get to talk about everything you have asked about, just give me some time. There have been thousands of people to visit the site and hundreds asking questions and telling stories. This is a process and I want to make sure that when I do discuss things, that I do them justice. Some of these topics aren't easy, and some of them are flat out painful. I promised to make a safe place where nothing was off-limits and everybody could feel safe and something you should all know about me is, I always keep my promises.
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